BEFORE THE WEDDING

Image: Ian Abdilla Photography

1. Plan the Bachelor’s Party

This may be an obvious one, but don’t underestimate the work involved. You need to decide whether to organise an evening do or a full day or weekend extravaganza. You need to get his list of ‘bros’, contact them and set it all up. Keep a track of expenses to make sure you don’t go out of pocket.

2. Sort the Threads

Yes, that’s right: selecting the suits and organising the fittings are on your to-do list. Do this in plenty of time, since there are alterations to consider, groomsmen possibly coming from abroad and, most importantly of all, your best mate’s father and future father-in-law will need to be advised and coordinated.

3. Be Personal Aide and Advisor

Your friend’s going to need all the help he can get. After all, organising a wedding is no mean feat (especially when the families get too involved). Be a source of support, a person to lean on and a listening ear. It’s your job to make sure this wedding happens, and without a hitch. No pressure.

4. Take Charge of the Wedding Rings

For some, this is the scariest duty of them all. Once the couple have bought their rings, they should pass them onto you. Put them in a safe, or stow them somewhere you are confident is secure, and make sure you don’t forget them on the big day.

AT THE CEREMONY

Image: Chris Bottrell on www.bridemagazine.co.uk

1. Manage the Logistics

The Big Day has arrived. Now things get cracking. Make sure everything is set up at the venue and the church or ceremonial hall. Manage the drinks, check the decorations and coordinate the other groomsmen just before the ceremony to make sure they know how to guide everyone to their seats.

2. Stand By Your Man

Once the ceremony starts, and everyone is seated, you belong beside your best friend as he watches his wife-to-be walk down the aisle towards him. And no, it’s not to stop him running away, or to be that support if she doesn’t show up (though these things have happened!) but to be present in one of the most important moments of his life. After all, isn’t that what best friends are for?

3. Hand Over the Rings

This is what you’ve been waiting for…

AT THE RECEPTION

Image: Ian Abdilla Photography

1. Act as Host

This is where your best friend and his loved one gets to let their hair down a bit after months of meticulous planning. And this is where you step in to ensure everything keeps to schedule: the food comes out when it should; the bars open on time and the photographer (and videographer) are where they need to be, when they need to be. You will need to also coordinate the couple through all their thanks, especially if this is a stand-up reception.

2. Organize Formal Wedding Party Photos

Get everyone together – the bridal party, parents, and witnesses – for the traditional wedding photos. Be sure not to miss anyone out – offense is easily given and very difficult to overcome.

3. Make a Toast

Many best men hate this part of the wedding reception, but there’s absolutely nothing to fear. Just say what you mean, but there’s no need to tell that story involving a drinking dare and streaking through the streets. Operate on a need to know basis. Your toast is usually given after the groom’s father gives his. Line up all speakers to make sure they know when their turn comes.

4. Take Charge of the Gift Envelopes

As one of the most trusted members of the wedding party (if not the most trusted, together with the maid of honour), you will be entrusted with taking care of the gift envelopes until after the wedding. If you have an army of groomsmen, instruct them to hand everything to you and make sure there is a safe place to store everything until after the event.

5. Organize the Couple’s Departure from the Venue

Transport may sound like such a boring thing, but you will need to oversee the bride and groom’s going away vehicle: make sure it arrives on time, is positioned where it’s supposed to be and help the happy couple get in. Close family members who have transport problems will also need to be catered for and it might fall to you to do this.

AFTER THE WEDDING

Image: Ian Abdilla Photography

1. Count the Leftover Drinks

If the wedding reception took place in a hall, and not a restaurant or bar, the drinks will have to be counted and accounted for, especially if the couple gets back money on drinks not opened (as is often the case). Open bottles of course get put aside and distributed to close family members, or the bridal party, while anything still sealed can be sent back to make a saving.

2. Hand Over the Gifts

It’s always a relief when the gifts are given to the proper recipients. If your friend and his wife are honeymooning right away, you might need to hold onto the envelopes for a little while longer. However, if they’re staying on the rock for some time, hand over their gifts a day after the wedding, to give them time to recuperate.