Having sex with the same person forever is boring…

Only if you let it get boring. Just as a person’s personality may change and evolve over time, so do our sexual desires and bodies. Fine, we might not look as physically fit in our 50s as we do in our 30s, but sex has a lot to do with how we feel, and not just about how we look. Plus, doing it with the same person allows for more freedom and experimentation over time.

…If you even have a sex life

This sounds like a gross generalisation, and also very false. You might think that your single friends are having far steamier sex than you are with a new fling they met at a bar, but the truth is that married couples are actually likely to get down more often, and enjoyably so, because a certain level of trust has been established that allows them to be open about what they love and what they don’t like as much.

Your spouse always knows what you’re thinking

Erm, no they don’t. They say that one of the worst things in any relationship is expectation – it sets your hopes up high, and when they’re not met, disappointed follows… and then anger, resentment and inevitably a bad fight. Thinking that your spouse can read your mind just because you’ve been together for a long time is a myth – and it all it leads to is a breakdown of communication. So speak up and make your voice and opinions heard.

Marriage is about making each other happy

The word ‘happy’ is overused, and mistakenly used to identify feelings other than happiness – such as contentment, peace, fulfilment and more. Rather than making it your mission to make your spouse happy – or expect that they make you happy – work on your own kind of happiness, whether it’s volunteering at an animal shelter or helping people in need, and watch it bear fruit between the two of you as a couple.

“Happily ever after” doesn’t exist

Often, we look at the negative around us and take it as the norm. Instead of looking at the scores of couples who succeeded at married life and enjoyed a healthy and long marriage, we regard the short-lived couples and high divorce or separation rates as the order of the day. As someone once told me, take off your sunglasses – everything looks lighter and better when viewed optimistically.

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