When young mother of one, Lisa Cassar, took to social media to share her experiences about motherhood, she probably didn’t expect so many others would relate to what she had to say – but indeed they did.
Weeks away from their second wedding anniversary and having recently celebrated their daughter, Kate’s first birthday, we caught up with Lisa, who has since taken the plunge and launched a blog, Kate’s Cradle, to share her personal experiences with motherhood.
Lisa admits that after seven years together, both her and her husband had settled into a comfortable couple dynamic but despite their excitement to expand their family, welcoming a third person into their tight-knit circle was not easy. “After giving birth, all you want to do is give your time and energy to your new baby,” Lisa reveals, adding that this has been a scientifically proven fact. “It’s really easy to neglect your partner,” she continues. “Kate still takes up most of my time and focus, so it's a constant decision to focus on us as a couple.”
For Lisa, the most difficult days were the early ones. “You’re physically and mentally exhausted all the time, but your baby doesn’t know that,” she says. Being the first of her friends and immediate family to have a child, Lisa admits that she was often plagued with feelings of loneliness. To counter this, she would spend hours reading and tuning in to other mothers’ experiences for comfort. “I'd listen to podcasts, read blogs, participate in Facebook threads and view Instagram stories just to feel like I wasn’t alone.”
She is quick to highlight that motherhood is an exceptionally beautiful experience, but few people speak up about the struggles that come with it. Trusting her instincts was another difficult challenge. While she confesses to spending a long time second-guessing herself because she was surrounded by more experienced mothers, she eventually came to the realisation that she was her daughter’s mother: “That’s my job, and I know how to do it best.”
Despite the rough start, she admits that having a strong support system was a big blessing and the bounty of happy moments balanced out the situation. Lisa reveals that her favourite memory was when she experienced Kate smiling for the first time, a moment which made her feel like there was an actual person inside her tiny baby. The usual milestones – first word, first crawl, first walk – were equally memorable situations.
The young mother reveals she is excited for what Kate’s second year has in store. “She's so engaged with everything around her, it's amazing to see her absorb the world like a sponge,” Lisa says, adding that she “can’t wait to hear her say more words.” Lisa admits that she still has a lot of learning to do especially when it comes to toning down her tendency to structure, plan and routine her day. “I had a few motherhood-meltdowns when things like new sleep recessions happened and napping patterns changed,” she acknowledges. “Newsflash...babies aren't robots. I still like schedules, but I like to think I've eased up a little!”
Lisa meticulously documents Kate’s journey and her experiences with motherhood through her Instagram page, and now through her blog, which she hopes will add to the comfort she found in other mothers’ online narrations. “It’s my way of telling any first-time mums out there that, yes, it is so hard and it’s OK to feel the way they’re feeling. You’re not alone, and more importantly it gets so much better.”