The Bride’s Survival Guide to Wedding Dress Shopping with Mum

Or: How to make sure you’re still on speaking terms by the end of it.

On TV shows like Say Yes To The Dress there’s always that magical moment where the mum and the daughter who’s getting married both know immediately that that dress is The One. Unfortunately, not all moments in life are made for TV. Here’s how to brace yourself for wedding dress shopping with your mother (or mother-in-law) in the real world.

Prepare her

Your mum probably knows more about your style than you give her credit for, and she’s most likely aware that you’re more into slinky mermaid-style gowns than puffy princess frocks (or vice versa). Still, it’s best if you warn her in advance about what kind of dress you have in mind.

Keep an open mind

Trying on different dresses is part of the fun, so there’s no harm in trying on a dress that’s not your style, even if it’s just to please your mum. First of all, you may be surprised, and second of all, you can tell your mum firmly that you tried it, but it made you look like a rejected Eurovision contestant, so you certainly won’t be walking up the aisle in it.

Develop a thick skin

Mums can be a little bit tactless, bless them, so let any overly-blunt comments such as ‘that dress makes your arms look huge’, ‘you’re too short for a gown like that’ or ‘dik skullata wisq hi, qisek sejra Gianpula’ wash over you like water off a duck’s back. Advice is all well and good but you’re a grown woman – you know what you like and what looks good on you.

Bring her in at the end

Another strategy to ensure that you and your mum are still on speaking terms by the end of the wedding dress shopping session is to first go shopping with friends, siblings or someone else who’s more on your fashion wavelength and then bring her in by the time you’ve narrowed your choices down to a handful of gowns so that she can’t suggest anything that makes you look like a Carnival float.

Stick to your guns

While most mums are super lovely and will support your choices, even if it’s not what they would have gone for, other mums will try to hijack your choice of a wedding dress to fulfil their own ideal wedding fantasy. Don’t let this happen – be firm, stand your ground and don’t give in to pressure. After all, it’s your wedding and it’s your wedding dress.