Is It Ever Okay To Invite Your Ex To Your Wedding?

IT’S A YES IF…

It was a really long time ago

If your ex was just someone you dated for a few months back in Sixth Form, but now consider strictly a friend, it’s generally okay to invite them. Hopefully, nobody is still holding on to a flame kindled by a few decades-old adolescent fumbling.

Your ex is coupled up and you’re all on good terms

If you know your ex is happily married and you and your future spouse are on good terms with both halves of the couple, you can certainly extend an invitation to them. (Always check with your partner first of course – what you consider ‘good terms’ on your end could be mere politeness on theirs.)

IT’S A MAYBE IF…

You have children together

If you have children from a past relationship, you may want to consider inviting the children’s mother or father as well, as a gesture of good faith. However, only do so if you think your ex is generally a good person, that they don’t still have romantic feelings for you, they’re in a good place in their life (see above) and that they won’t make a scene.

IT’S A NO IF…

They’re unstable or frightening

Break-ups happen for all sorts of reasons, and the way people react to them, sometimes even when years have gone by, varies wildly as well. If your ex has a history of being a few sandwiches short of a picnic, or the thought of what they might to at the wedding frightens you, err on the side of caution and don’t invite them.

They have a crazy partner or spouse

Your ex might be a perfectly pleasant and sane person, but if the person they’re currently seeing or are married to is not, you just have to strike them both off the list. It’s easier this way.

You’re not sure whether your feelings are completely gone

Emotions are complicated. Even though you may be fully in love with your wife or husband to be, you still may have complicated and unresolved feelings about your ex, or vice versa – and what worse day could there be for these feelings to reawaken then on your wedding? Don’t put yourself in harm’s way – strike them off the guest list.

Your partner doesn’t want them there

In all cases, your future husband or wife takes precedence over any of your exes’ hurt feelings. If they don’t want them there, don’t invite them.