1. Look ahead
You don’t have the luxury of spending every moment with your loved one (unfortunately), so every moment, every conversation takes on added significance. Prepare to plan way ahead – in more ways than others would – so you get the most out of the little time you spend together.
2. Agree on the fundamentals…early
This needs to happen early on. How many people should you invite? Are you inviting cousins? How much would you like to spend (rather, what can you afford)? Where and when do you want to get married? You should both be very clear on the parameters, and discuss them face-to-face, to ensure no misunderstandings or angry texts at 6am when you’re both apart.
3. Be flexible and keep it light
So, you want to get married in summer, but he prefers a winter do. You prefer a venue by the beach, while he wants a traditional reception. You both need to be flexible and come to a compromise, as soon as you can. You do not have the luxury to talk about these issues endlessly, and neither do you want to argue when you do speak and meet, so make a decision to take the middle ground. The strength of your relationship – always based on compromise – is essential to your marriage. The type of wedding you will have has nothing to do with its longevity.
4. Use digital tools
But don’t let them take over. Apps and sites which aid in wedding planning can be a godsend when you’re in a long-distance relationship and, with communication being easier than ever before (think WhatsApp and Messenger), there’s really no excuse for misunderstandings. But, should disagreements come about – don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal – make sure you pick up the phone to hear the sound of your partner’s voice. After all, the process should bring you together, not throw you apart.
5.Take some time off wedding planning
Your time together cannot always centre on sorting out the details of your big day. Be disciplined and learn to put it aside, once in a while, to focus on what you enjoy most: being in each other’s company, especially when that’s a privilege you don’t get to enjoy much.
6. Split the tasks
Just because your future spouse does not live on the island, it does not mean he or she cannot take an active role in preparing for your wedding. Make a list of things you need to do and split them, depending on which can be done remotely. Booking the reception, liaising with transport companies, sorting out the accommodation for family and friends who are flying over can all be organised over email. Just make sure to stay organised and on track.
7. Plan your parties in both countries
Everyone loves a destination stag night or hen do, right? Ok, maybe not everyone, but you’d be surprised on how many people will hop on a plane to send you off in style. If one of you lives abroad, it’s likely you have a solid network of friends who would also love to participate in the celebrations. Plan for both sets of buddies – yes, that’s two parties in two separate countries. Watch out for those hangovers though!
8. Decide on where you will live…before you get engaged
It’s useless getting married, if you cannot even agree on which country you will live in. This is a source of contention for many couples, but it needs to be addressed before you say ‘yes’. If you think you can live with a compromise – such as moving abroad for a select amount of time – and you’ve discussed this at length, then let nothing stand in the way of true love!