1. It’s different to being in a relationship
An intangible shift occurs when you go from being a couple, with relatively no strings attached, to being married. Although your level of commitment should be the same, the notion of individuality changes somewhat, in that you’re much more of a team than you were before. Many decisions will have to be made together, so there’s no point competing with one another – you just have to work together and be on the same side, which is both tough at times, but also incredibly rewarding.
2. Calling each other ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ is strange at first
If you’ve dated for many years and got so used to referring to each other as ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’, referring to each other as ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ will sound weird at first and probably freak you out a little, but once you get used to it, it’s also pretty awesome.
3. There’s no easy way out
You’ll realise that you can’t just up and leave when you’ve had enough of the other person, or threaten to break up if you’re having a bad fight like you used to before you got hitched. You’re married now, and you have to do your best to work things out.
4. Integrating your lives can have its challenges
This is especially true when dealing with finances – aligning with each other and figuring out your financial goals and capabilities can be confusing and a little disheartening. If you’ve got a friend who’s good with numbers and financial planning, reaching out for help will be a great idea… a little planning can really go a long way.
5. Listening to each other is crucial
Listening to someone, REALLY listening, is a skill worth honing. Often, you think you’re listening, but you’re actually caught up in your own thoughts and worries. You need to make an extra effort to change that when you’re married – being present when your significant other is talking to you is crucial to making sound decisions together, which you’ll be making a lot of as a couple.
6. Spending time together strengthens your bond
Just because you’re living under the same roof and doing daily tasks together like clearing, cooking and making decisions, it doesn’t mean you’re making time for each other. Skip a couple of after-work drink sessions or family dinners to spend quality time with your spouse, and when you’re together, make that time really count by doing whatever it is that makes you both happy.
7. But giving each other space is important too
Which also means nourishing the friendships you’ve built over so many years, without allowing them to slide into oblivion because you can no longer make the time. While prioritising your relationship is an absolute must, make an effort for the other amazing people in your life, and the time apart from your spouse will give you lots to talk about once you’re back at home.
8. You’ll both get really comfortable with each other
If you lived together for a while before getting married, then you know what getting comfortable looks like – letting rip without thinking twice, using the loo with the door open, walking around naked. It might feel gross at first, but you’ll soon feel incredibly free and 100% yourself.
9. Taking each other for granted is a death trap
It shouldn’t happen in the first year of marriage, and hopefully in no year that follows either. It’s easy to take the person you’re with every day for granted, we’re all guilty of doing so at some point or other, but make a conscious effort to let the other person know how much they mean to you, be it with affection, their favourite cooked meal, or those three special words.
10. Being kind to each other is the most important thing of all
You’ll quickly find out that kindness is the key to contentment, both within and outside of marriage. What’s the point in being unfair, hurtful, babyish or selfish with the very same person that you’ve pledged to live with for the rest of your life? Be kind to each other, and let the happy vibes flow.
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